


A Documentary on the Mating Rituals of Teenagers in Hasetsu High

by jellydonut16



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Writing Prompt, as told by a narrator, nature documentary AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 09:58:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10568946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellydonut16/pseuds/jellydonut16
Summary: In this gripping documentary set in the hallowed halls of Hasetsu High, we follow Viktor Nikiforov, male teenager, on his quest to successfully woo a potential mate.Based on a writing prompt by writing-prompt-s on Tumblr: “A boy asks a girl out. It’s high school. It’s awkward. Narrate it from the point of view of a nature documentary."





	

**Author's Note:**

> based on the prompt by writing-prompt-s on [tumblr](http://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/159244219886/a-boy-asks-a-girl-out-its-high-school-its):  
> “A boy asks a girl out. It’s high school. It’s awkward. Narrate it from the point of view of a nature documentary."
> 
> so the moment my eyes landed on this prompt, I just knew I HAD to write it out hahhahahah

Ah, Hasetsu High. It settles atop a plain that had once been a rice paddy. It may not look like it, but Hasetsu High had once been the shining beacon of the Kyushu Prefecture, Japan, in the perfervid pursuit of scholarly education and academia. Over the years, it had slowly lost its lustre and appeal due to the reckless abandon of its native species, _Homo sapiens sapiens adolescere_ , or to refer to its colloquial term, ‘teenagers’.

Today on _Human Planet_ , we embark on a treacherous journey into the confounding conundrum that is Hasetsu High School. Deep within its hallowed halls, we will follow one of these elusive ‘teenagers’ and immerse ourselves into the peculiar mating rituals of this particular species.

 

* * *

 

What _is_ that magnificent creature over there, standing by the bleachers? It is none other than a male teenager, congregating with his flock. Teenagers are social creatures. However, some can be significantly more social than others. This male teenager is one of them. He is what other fellow teenagers call, ‘popular’.

This means he is on top of the proverbial food chain, and is able to exercise much of his influential power over his own species. It is comparable to the social structure of gorillas, in which they have a leader— though it is of note that _Homo sapiens sapiens adolescere_ are much more volatile and vicious creatures.

There is a twinkle in his icy blue eyes as he gesticulates, in order to place emphasis on his words while communicating with his herd. His silky, silver hair moves gracefully in the spring breeze, his smooth alabaster skin seemingly _glistening_ in the warm sunlight.

Yes, what a fine specimen indeed.

His name is Viktor Nikiforov, and in today’s documentary, we will follow this male teenager on his quest to successfully woo a potential mate. Because he is on top of the hierarchy of Hasetsu High, there have been many suitors who have tried to seduce Viktor and win his affections, but thus far, all have been futilitarian pursuits.

Many of them have ended badly, and the rejected teenager may or may not suffer from a sickness called ‘heartbreak’. Its symptoms include, but are not limited to, overwhelming sadness, uncontrollable fits of crying at random intervals, and the borderline irresistible need to aggravate one’s own emotions by going through old messages—a typical _Homo sapiens sapiens adolescere_ mode of communication— listening to depressing music, or the urge to post vague yet angsty statuses online. In some cases, there is also a radical transformation in one’s physical appearance, such as a drastic haircut.

The disease can be observed in another member of Viktor’s pack, a teenage male named Georgi Popovich.

To elaborate a bit more on the peculiar mating rituals of teenagers, they are unlike other animals in which they do not go into heat or ruts, nor have any mating cycles, but due to the onslaught of ‘hormones’ as they develop, it does have similar effects on teenagers. _Homo sapiens sapiens adolescere_ also tend to engage in the act of coitus during a phenomenon common to them called ‘prom’, and, also prevalent in other _Homo sapiens sapiens_ , ‘Valentine’s Day’.

 

* * *

 

We are at a small chocolate shop downtown right now, and here we see Viktor foraging for a perfect love offering for his future mate. Observe as he plucks each product off of its shelf, studying each and every one carefully. He wants to make sure his potential mate will enjoy the token of affection, and that it will encourage the other teenager to return the sentiment. _Physically_ and emotionally.

He twists and turns the box of chocolate in his hands. You can see it in his eyes he is trying to work out which one his potential mate will appreciate best. It is a toss-up between the box of assorted chocolates or a large one shaped like a heart. After much contemplation on Viktor’s part, he decides to purchase the box of assorted chocolates. In a split-second decision, he also decides to purchase a dozen red roses from the florist’s right beside the chocolate shop.

Satisfied with his love offering, he eagerly returns to Hasetsu High in order to properly seduce his mate.

 

* * *

 

Before approaching his potential mate, Viktor makes sure that he is physically presentable. He is in the high school’s comfort room, and though it smells slightly of rank air and urine, he pays it no heed as he uses his fingers to comb through his hair. It is a trait shared with other primates, such as the Java macaque monkey. In order to improve— or, perhaps, _mask_ — his natural scent, he uses what might seem to be half a can of Axe Body Spray on himself, from head to toe.

It is of norm among teenagers to marinate oneself in as much fragrance as possible, especially when approaching the object of one’s affections. When the teenager is nervous, it only aggravates them into using more body spray or perfume. There have been studies conducted in the recent years in order to see if it masks the scent of fear and apprehension. As of current, these studies have not reached a clear hypothesis for this phenomenon.

Now that Viktor has deemed himself presentable enough for his potential mate, he grabs the bouquet of roses and box of chocolates off the corner of the sink and sets off to find the object of his desire.

He first begins his journey by heading over to the library. The library is an enclosed area in high schools that had been originally intended for studying. Over the years, it has evolved into a makeshift resting area for tired _Homo sapiens sapiens adolescere_. Viktor treads across the carpeted floor, eyes wild in search of his potential mate.

He suddenly grows still, stopping dead in his tracks. Viktor’s icy blue eyes widen and his pupils start to dilate as he spots the potential mate sitting in a corner of the library.

Watch closely as Viktor cautiously approaches the potential mate, the love offering hidden behind his back so as not to scare the other teenager off. This teenager is also a male, like Viktor. Due to Viktor’s silent approach, the potential mate had not reacted to his presence, engrossed with studying— a rarity among today’s _Homo sapiens sapiens adolescere_.

When Viktor is within two to three feet of the potential mate, the other teenager’s nose begins to wrinkle as he picks up on Viktor’s heady scent. He glances up at Viktor, and immediately his face flushes a light crimson.

His name is Yuuri Katsuki. He has captivating chocolate brown eyes, wide and expressive and framed with thick, dark lashes. A pair of blue spectacles sit atop the bridge of his nose, his soft pink lips twisting downwards and his brows furrowing in what seemed to be ‘confusion’.

Here, we await in anticipation for Yuuri’s mating call.

“Viktor, hi,” he greets quietly, shifting to face the other teenager in his seat. He visibly scents the air. “What is that _smell_?”

Viktor, the poor _Homo sapiens sapiens adolescere_ , had been caught off-guard. He blanches for a moment before focussing on Yuuri again. “Oh, it’s nothing, nothing,” he waves off casually. The teenagers of today had the tendency to wave things off even if the situation clearly said otherwise. Before he loses the nerve, he presents his love offering to Yuuri, arms outstretched. “By the way, I got these for you!”

Yuuri’s face immediately reddens tenfold as his eyes widen in shock. It is clear that the male teenager had been rendered speechless via love offering. “U-Um, _what_?”

“Yuuri,” Viktor says, gently and lovingly pushing the love offering into the potential mate’s open arms. “Will you go out with me?”

Ah, yes. There it is: the request to initiate mating rituals, such as kissing and hugging, and becoming one’s mate. Truth be told, Viktor had always been drawn to Yuuri Katsuki, with his timid smiles and his kind eyes. And after a daring, yet slightly drunken mating dance initiated by Yuuri himself while at a friend’s house party, Viktor had found himself becoming enamoured with the other teenager, and wished to become his significant other, or, colloquially-termed, his ‘boyfriend’.

Will Yuuri accept his offer, or will Viktor be spurned, like he had done so to many, _many_ others?

Viktor watches, entranced, as a red tongue darts out of Yuuri’s mouth and swipes along his lower lip. He takes a deep breath and looks up at Viktor, a smile on his face that could outshine the sun. Viktor finds himself out of breath, one of the symptoms of ‘falling in love’ when looking at the apple of one’s eye.

Yuuri takes the bouquet of roses and the box of chocolate out of Viktor’s hands, their fingertips brushing for a brief moment. Is it, perhaps, a promise of more things to come?

“Yes,” Yuuri says, still smiling at him. Viktor, unable to restrain himself, tackles Yuuri into a hug. To Viktor, Yuuri is a beacon of light, who could be the one to guide him home.

**Author's Note:**

> i just bullshitted (bullshat?) the scientific name for teenagers lol
> 
>  _Homo sapiens sapiens_ is correct, so i just added _adolescere_ , which is the latin root word for ‘adolescent'
> 
> I totally did not take this fic seriously at all, so I hope u guys had a laugh too! :D
> 
> please leave a comment or a kudos and tell me what u think! thank you for reading ❤️
> 
> come fangirl w/ me!
> 
> tumblr: [ragdollyouth](http://ragdollyouth.tumblr.com/)
> 
> twitter: [@katsukidon_](https://twitter.com/katsukidon_)


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